


Concerning Dwarf Women

by orphan_account



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Confused Dwarves, Dwarf Culture Porn, Dwarf Gender Concepts, F/M, Female Bilbo, Female Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield, Gen, In a Medical Manner, Menstruation, Mildly Dubious Consent, Overprotective Dwarves, There Are No Dwarf Women, Worried Dwarves, always a girl bilbo, period
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-22
Updated: 2017-01-22
Packaged: 2018-09-18 19:52:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9400613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Quick oneshot that I needed to get out of my head!Inspired by a work I cannot find on AO3 any longer: "What?" wherein Bilbo gets her period and the dwarves believe she has been injured.





	

It took some getting used to, sleeping out in the open, rocks digging into your spine, the sound of a dozen males snoring about you and the low conversation of the two assigned to watch. To be fair, the hardest part for Bilbo had been getting images of bugs crawling through her hair out of her mind as she tried to sleep. But by now she felt a bit of an old-hand at it, able to drop when she laid out in her bedroll, and one of the first up in the morning to start preparation for breakfast. Bombur had been quite the sweetest dwarf and was grateful for every bit of help she could offer him.

Today was no different, so ignoring the pull of muscles abused by a rocky mattress, Bilbo pushed herself up from her bedroll and onto her knees.

"Bilbo!"

Startled, she tumbled back onto her bedroll with a grunt. She hissed between her teeth as she landed on her elbow wrong and she struggled to pull herself back up. But that was no longer an issue with gentle arms helping her to lie down and roll over. "Just lie still, Bilbo, Oin's here to check you over." Bilbo blinked up at Thorin Oakenshield as he held her carefully, as though she were built of spun sugar.

True to his words, Oin soon was patting across her stomach, while Thorin was barking Khuzdul at the other dwarrow who were suddenly all on alert and searching the camp for something, weapons drawn. "What?" she asked. "What's wrong?" Bilbo was confused. Sure, her arm was sore, and she hadn't had the most comfortable night's sleep, resulting in what she was certain would be rather large bruises, but certainly that was nothing worthy of this level of fuss!

"Hush, Bilbo. I've got you." Thorin's voice was quieter than she had ever heard it, and smaller somehow.

Oin had begun moving the hem of her blouse and was now fiddling with the belt on her trousers. "I beg your pardon!" she screeched.

"Bilbo," Thorin interrupted, "Oin needs to stem the blood flow. Please lie still. The others are already out searching for whatever monster caused this damage."

"Blood?" Bilbo gasped and she looked down, horror dawning in the corners of her mind. Sure enough, when she looked down, the seat of her trousers and the length of thighs was coated in a thick covering of blood. "Ohhh," she groaned burying her head into Thorin's chest, mortified for all this fuss about her period arriving.

Apparently her groan further worried the two dwarves tending to her because Oin stopped playing nice and sliced off her belt, tugging her trousers down to her knees. "NO!" She cried out, but it was too late, Oin was already inspecting her thighs and wiping the blood away with a cloth, hunting for her mysterious wound. Tugging herself away from the pair, batting at their hands, and struggling to replace her trousers, Bilbo shouted, "I'm not wounded!"

"Lad," Oin began.

"No!" she yelled. "I'm not wounded, I'm just on my period." This pronouncement was met with silence and Bilbo managed to do up her trousers though her belt was a lost cause.

"And what, is a period, lad?" Thorin's voice was steady but his eyes were wide and hands stretched out toward her as though to catch her if she fell.

"Well, a period... Don't dwarf women get periods?"

"Dwarf women, lad? There are no dwarf women."

Bilbo laughed. "I know you are all a secretive society, but you must have women. I know you've all spoken of life-bringers, wives, and mothers?"

"Yes, our life-bringers. Those whom Mahal has blessed with the ability to draw life from stone. My own sister Dis is one such Dwarf, for which we have my two nephews."

Bilbo wrinkled her nose, embarrassment set aside for the time. "So, your sister... If she isn't female... Why do you call her sister?"

"Because she is a life-bringer."

Bilbo's mind tried to wrestle with that, before she shook her head giving it up as a lost cause. "Either way, Hobbits have males and females, and I happen to be one of those females. Which is why I am currently bleeding through my clothes." The dwarves around her winced. "It is perfectly normal for women, if uncomfortable and painful by turns. It simply means I am not pregnant, that's all."

"Were you... were you concerned about being pregnant?" The dwarves echoed affirmatives supporting Thorin's question.

"Well, of course not. I don't choose when my period arrives. My cycle tends to follow the phases of the moon, I am most likely to conceive a child if I...," Bilbo blushed, "If I lay with anyone during the full moon, and every new moon that I have not conceived a child, I bleed."

The dwarves looked amongst themselves in various states of horror.

Of course, it was Kili who broke the silence, "That's sounds horrible!"

Bilbo buried her face in her hands and muttered dire warnings against meddlesome wizards and dwarven males. Sighing she glanced around the company before explaining, "I am going to visit the stream to... tidy up," as she spoke she gathered her pack with its spare set of clothes and a miraculously clean, fresh cloth, bless Yavana. "And once I am clean and back, we can discuss this further, should that be needed. In the meantime, you lot can pass any questions you have onto Gandalf."

Without looking back, the hobbit took off for the nearby stream, as the dwarves converged on the reluctant wizard.

~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~

Upon her return to camp, Bilbo found several of the dwarves eyeing her warily, while others were just staring, expressionless. "So," she called out, "now that I'm clean, did you have any further questions?"

All the dwarves flushed a bright red, and none could meet her gaze. "No, my dear, Bilbo," Gandalf spoke up. "I think their curiosity has been sated for the time being. Perhaps later."


End file.
